Do you feel like you are not living your life but as if your life is happening to you? Who isn’t sick of the social norms that are forced on us since the day we’re born to the day we die?
Go to school,
get good grades,
get into a good collage,
get a job,
meet your future partner,
grind your 9 to 5 until you finally retire and
wait for death.
What do you think you are going to get out of following these social norms? You might say: fulfillment, sense of accomplishment, happiness, success. Just like with anything else, not all of us are the same so we can not all follow the same formula especially when it comes to our entire lives.
Why is it so hard
The reason why we think it’s so hard to change our lives is because we already created habits that allow us to live comfortably (whatever that means in your case).
Our brain wants the best for us and wants to protect us at all times therefore it wants us to create a familiar pattern where it feels safe. It is absolutely ridiculous that just a simple asking someone out or trying new food, our brain perceives as a treat. It pulls an emergency brake so if you don’t move quickly and impulsively your brain will succeed in changing your mind and find the reason why you shouldn’t start working out today. Our brain will stop us from taking risks and doing anything unfamiliar because it operates in constant fear of extinction.
By the time we are 35 years of age we already operate 95% on our subconscious mind which is formed by our beliefs, behaviors, attitudes, emotional reactions and perceptions. Only 5% of our brain operates on our conscience mind which means your mind just rides in “rinse and repeat” mode.
Changing your life is simple but not easy
All you will have to do is change your subconscious mind and engage your conses mind more by being more present. Don’t expect the change to come overnight.
Your subconscious mind was created over a period of many years and influenced by many things such as:
your families beliefs,
the way you were raised,
the way you were treated in school,
any traumatic experiences,
People think all the time and most of the time they think of the past experiences and reworking the same emotion over and over again. What you are thinking now is shaping your future. So what these people are doing is just creating the same cycle of all the things they don’t want, floating in that cycle and calling it a life.
Start changing your subconscious mind by being more aware of your thoughts. Create new positive thoughts and replace the old negative ones. Every time you find your self having an imaginary fight with someone, stop yourself and think of something positive. You should start imagining all the details of the things you want to happen to you as if they already happened and allow yourself to feel what you would feel if that was your reality.
Happy thoughts can not exist in the negative environment
Cut all the toxic people out of your life!
Say NO to anything you don’t want to do!
Quit your job if it doesn’t make you happy!
This part might seem hard right now but when you start working on yourself and changing for the better you will see how difficult it is when you are surrounded by certain people, situations and interments. Simply cut all the negative influence out of your life. You don’t need them.
Doing this is going to make you feel more in control and more free. It will allow your mind to be more relaxed and focused on your journey to a much happier and more successful life. Future you will thank you.
Where to actually begin? What you can do is write down all the things you want to accomplish and be as specific as possible. Write down in great detail everything you want to change in your life. How you want to feel, what you want to look like, what you want to do, where you want to live, who you want to meet and why.
You can even create a vision board. And then have a list of things you are going to do to archive those goals. Break it down on the calendar. For example if one of your goals is to start working out, don’t just set a goal vague like that. You need to have a specific goal of what the outcome of you working out should be. Is it losing weight or getting in shape or build a muscle? Then write it down on a calendar – Monday cardio, Wednesday leg day and Friday upper body and core workouts.
Or if your goal is to write a novel, set a goal as specific as ‘romance novel published by Amazon by 2021’. Then create a schedule of how many chapters have to be written a week, how many words per day and it doesn’t even have to be good. The important thing is that you do it. You can always edit a shitty draft but you can’t edit a blank page.
Your goals will be achieved because there is something so motivating about being able to tick something off of your to do list.
If you have come this far into reading this article, congratulations! You are really serious about changing your life and you are not afraid of the hard work that is ahead of you.
If I could give you any advice it would be not to worry about the outcome. Be in control of the things you can control but then you will have to let go.
You can’t control the outcome but have trust and know that all the outcomes happen for a reason. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you fail in something. It probably happened for a reason and you should just get up, dust yourself off and learn from the mistakes you’ve made as they will make you stronger.