Stopping Self Sabotaging Behavior

Self-sabotage, journey to a free life, stopping self sabotaging behaviors, change your life,

Why is it, that sometimes, we are our own worst enemy? Why do we self sabotage and how can we stop self sabotaging to become more successful.

There is nothing worse then spending your life not doing what you want and never finding success because “you will do it later, when you feel like it”.


Understand why and Identify when you self sabotage

Our subconscious mind perceives any change as a treat, even when we want to change for the better. Self sabotage is a defense mechanism. It’s a way of protecting ourselves from losing control, feeling vulnerable, therefore from getting hurt.

That doesn’t have to be physical pain, it can be fear of failure, rejection, embarrassment, feeling isolated etc. Our subconscious mind will try to stop us from doing anything that’s out of our comfort zone and will try to do everything in its power to return to the comfortable state.


Some common forms of self sabotage are:

  • procrastination,

  • perfectionism,

  • prioritizing instant gratification,

  • negative self talk,

  • social media,

  • watching too much TV,

  • eating too much bad food,

  • indulging in alcohol and drugs.


Imposter syndrome

When we have a bad opinion about ourselves and good things start happening in our lives despite that, we will feel like we don’t deserve them, so we start self sabotaging.

This happens because we want to get our outside world in an alignment with our inside world. You might feel like a fraud, like you don’t deserve good things happening to you, like you are not wordy of good things and then you will do anything in your power to ruin it, just to prove yourself write.


Fear of failure

The biggest reason why we self sabotage, rather we want to admit it to ourselves or not, is to protect our ego. Think about it. One thing you fear the most is failure and if you give your all and still fail to succeed that would mean you are actually a failure.

We procrastinate and give less then we can because that way if we don’t succeed we won’t feel as bad. No harm done, right? You’ll say: “Well, I didn’t really try that hard” or “I waited until last minute so I didn’t have time to do it right”. Tell me I’m wrong.


Never compare yourself to others and focus on yourself

You should always and only care about impressing yourself. The only person you can compare yourself to is the Past You.

Nothing good will ever come out of compering your self to others. You will only feed your inner critic and give it more fuel for negative self talk. It will make you uninspired and depressed. Even if you win in comparison, it s a distracting, short-term boost of ego that will not have much benefit to your journey.

Other peoples social media is not accurate presentation of their lives. You might find yourself feeling resentment towards those people when in reality you don’t know the real story. You can’t compare your real life to someones highlights.

Comparing yourself to someone you look up to is simply not a fair comparison. Whatever strengths you might think they have and you don’t, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try or quit before you’ve even began.

Don’t set yourself up for a failure by comparing yourself to a made up story of someone else.


Set smart goals and make changes

The real work begins when you have a clear, specific, challenging but realistic goals that are also relevant and achievable. Vague goals like “I want to earn more money” or “I want to be more healthy” will not work. I already lost motivation when writing it. If you want to become a writer, your goal should be as specific as “I want to write and publish a 500 page romance novel by October 2022 “

Do yourself a favor and free your afternoon to start with setting up your goals and changing your life by answering these 20 questions.

I wish I could just write a simple 3 step / 5 step program that will work on everyone but that’s impossible because we are all different and none of us walk the same path in fulfilling our life purpose.

Before you give me any attitude about how hard it is to answer all the questions I need to tell you something.You already know the answers.You have known them all along. You knew that it was going to be hard to achieve your goals if you’re not focused so you used that as a perfect excuse. You have self sabotaged for too long and it is time to stop!

Sit down and answer all of these questions and by the end of it, it’ll be more clear on what your next steps in your journey should be.

  1. What is my specific goal that you want to achieve?

  2. Where am I now?

  3. What am I getting out of it?

  4. What is the purpose of achieving my goal?

  5. Is it something I want or need to achieve?

  6. Why do I want it?

  7. What would it feel like achieving my goal?

  8. How can I measure my success in achieving this goal? (how much,how many)

  9. Is your goal achievable?

  10. What do I have to do to achieve my goal?

  11. How long will it take me?

  12. How much work do I have to put into achieving my goal?

  13. What do I have to do weekly to achieve my goal in time?

  14. What do I have to do monthly to achieve my goal in time?

  15. What are my resources?

  16. Do I have a support system?

  17. What is my motivation?

  18. What is my dead line?

  19. Are my goals in an alignment with my values and priorities?

  20. Am I keeping my self in check and am I grateful?


The sectret of stopping self sabotaging behavior by answering 20 questions that will help you change your life


Last words

It will take time, patience and changing some habits to stop self sabotaging and if you are still waiting on someone to save you, I’m terribly sorry to tell you, but no one is coming!

Your success is not anyone’s responsibility and the lack of it is most definitely not anyone else’s fault.

If and when you succeed, it is going to be only because you made the change in Your life, You committed, You pushed yourself and You never gave up!


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